Confucius Say…

“Man who run in front of car get tired”

“Man who run behind car get exhausted”

“Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change”

“To prevent hangover stay drunk!”

“Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.”

“Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!”

“Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.”

“Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to BANGkok.”

“Man with one chopstick go hungry.”

“Man trapped in whore house get jerked around.”

“Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.”

“Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.”

“Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.”

“Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!”

“Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.”

“Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!”

“War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.”

“Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.”

“Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night.”

“Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!”

“If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people.”

“Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!”

“It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.”

“Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.”

“Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!”

“Man who sit on tack get point!”

“Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!”

“Man who lives in glass house should change in basement”

“Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with problem in hand”

“He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.”

“Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.”

“Man who fart in church sit in own pew.”

“Support bacteria – it's the only culture some people have.”

“People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.”