When I take a long time, I am slow.

When my boss takes a long time, He is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.

When my boss doesn't do it, He is too busy.

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.

When my boss does the same, That is initiative.

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot.

When my boss makes a mistake, He's only human.

When I take a stand, I'm being bull-headed.

When my boss does it, He's being firm.

When I overlook a rule of ettiquette, I'm being rude.

When my boss skips a few rules, He's being original.

When I'm out of the office, I'm wandering around.

When my boss is out of the office, He's on business.

When I have too many drinks at a social, I'm a drunken bum.

When my boss does the same, He's just too polite to refuse a drink.

When I'm on a day off sick, I'm always sick.

When my boss is a day off sick, He must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview.

When my boss applies for leave, it's because He's overworked.

When I please my boss, I'm apple-polishing.

When my boss pleases his boss, He's co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.

When I do wrong, He never forgets.