How did the blonde try to kill the fish?She tried to drown it.

What do you call a bunch of blondes in a circle?A dope ring.

How did the blonde explain how her helicopter crashed?She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.

Why did the blonde quit her job as a restroom attendant?He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

How does a psychic refer to a blonde?Light reading.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought she discovered that he had a twin sister?She didn't realize she was looking in a mirror.

Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?The noise gave her a headache.

Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea?She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? She wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?To see what was on the other side.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in only six months?Because on the box, it said “From 2-4 years.”

Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?She missed.

Did you hear about the blonde who was shopping in Macy's when the power went out? She was trapped for three hours on an escalator.

How does a blonde commit suicide?She gathers all her clothes up, and jumps off.

How do you drown a blonde?Leave a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

What are the two hardest years in a blondes life? The sixth grade.

Why are blonde's hair so high? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

A Blonde came home to find her husband in bed with another woman. She ran downstairs and got the family gun. She ran back up the stairs and into the bedroom, and she put the gun to her head. Her husband jumped up and started screaming “No honey, no honey this doesn't mean anything it's not worth it.” The blonde screams back at him, “SHUT UP! YOU'RE NEXT”.

What did the blonde get on her Math test?Lipstick.

One day a blonde was walking down the road and someone ask her did their blinker work. She replied, “Yes, No, Yes, No.”

How do you know that a fax came from a blonde? It has a stamp on it.

What do you call a blonde in a pool. An air bubble.

How did the blonde break her arm racking leaves? She fell out the tree.

How does a blonde make up her mind? She puts lipstick on it.

What do you call a redhead? A pissed off blonde.

What is the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up? Goes home.

How do you know when a blonde has used your computer? There's white-out all over the screen.

Three blondes were in the back of a pickup truck and it went into a river. Why did the all drown? They couldn't get the tailgate open.

Why did they find the blonde on top of the house? She heard the drinks were on the house.

A blonde orders a pizza and the clerk asked her if she wanted it in six or twelve pieces. She repied, “Six, I never eat twelve pieces.”

How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Why did the blonde freeze to death at the drive in movie?She went to see CLOSED FOR THE SEASON.

What's four miles long and has an IQ of 40? A blonde parade.