Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. –Winston Churchill

He was a wise man, who invented beer. –Plato

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. –Churchill's reply

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
–Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
–Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. –Deep Thought, Jack Handy

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
–Humphrey Bogart

I drink to make other people interesting. –George Jean Nathan

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. –For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
–Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
–Homer Simpson