Dear Signore Direttore.
Now I am a-tella you story how I was a-treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga christian man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to reception and tella: “I wanna shit!” They tella me “Go to toilet.” I say “No No, I wanta shit in my bed.” They say “You better not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch.” What is a sonnawabitch?
I go down for breakfast into ristorante, I order bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress an pointa of toast “I wanna piss!” She tella me: “Go to toilet.” I say “No No I wanna piss on my plate!” She then say to me. “You bloody hella not piss on the plate you sonnawabitch!” Second person who do not even know me now calla me sonnawabitch. What is a sonnawabitch?
Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress “I wanna fock” and she tella me. “Sure, everyoune wanna fock!” I tella her:“No No, you don't understand me. I wanna fock on table!” She tella me:“So you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!”
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. When I have paid the billa, the portiere say to me: “Thank you, and peace on you.” I say:“Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay your hotella no more, you sonnawabitch!”



(shit = sheed, piss = pice, fock = fork, piss = peace)
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Og að lokum er svo einn góður á dönsku fyrir þau 16% sem finnst allt í lagi að senda inn brandara á dönsku. Hinir þurfa ekkert að lesa hann.
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Det var et ægtepar fra Jorden der mødte et ægtepar fra Mars. De blev enige om partnerbytte, men jordkonen blev lidt skuffet, fordi marsmandens diller kun var to centimeter lang; men så sagde han, at hun skulle vride i hans venstre øre, og vupti, så sprang der en lang tynd sjover ud. Så vred hun i hans højre øre, og vupti, blev den så tyk som en bryders overarm, og hun havde en herlig nat. Næste morgen snakkede hun med sin mand om, hvordan han havde haft det.
Joeh, han havde haft det ad helvede til. Marskvinden bestilte ikke andet end at ligge og vride mig i ørene.