Nokkrir jóla brandarar


Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Answer: Because he had low elf esteem.

Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.

Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.

I know. I know. People say “It's the thought that counts, not the gift”, but couldn't people think a little bigger!

Father to three-year old: “No a reindeer is not a horse with TV antenna.”

Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.

Early Shopper

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant. “That's no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

A Whiner

At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas can the monk speak, and then only two words, and only to the head monk.

On his first Christmas there, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, “More Blankets” Silence ensues for 365 days.

The next Christmas, Brother Thomas speaks to the head monk again, and says “More Food”.

Once again, silence for 366 days (it's leap year). The following Christmas, Brother Thomas speaks to the head monk and says, “I'm leaving.”

The head monk responded "Good, you've done nothing but bitch since you've got here.


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