Yo momma so old …
Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, “Li'l Mary will never amount to anything”.
Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse
Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang
Yo momma so old even God calls her mother!

____________________


Yo momma so ugly …
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let's go bury it.”
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make monster cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Damn, is it Halloween already?”
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off surveillance cameras
Yo momma so ugly her face was on fire and I had to use a snow shovel to put it out.

Enjoy