Hér koma þrír anti Manchester brandarar(á ensku)
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A man meets a friend and sees that his friend''s car is a total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What''s happened to your car?” “Well,” the friend replies, “I ran over Alan Smith”. “OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?”
“Well, he tried to escape through the park.”
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A young woman pushing her baby in a pram across Oxford Street was suddenly terrified to see a huge Rottweiler lunging towards them snarling and gnashing its huge teeth together. She thought herself and her baby were done for, when suddenly a chap rushed over, wrestled the Rottweiler to the ground and broke its neck with his bare hands! The woman almost fainted with relief and gratitude. Another chap rushed to the scene and said to the rescuer “I''m a reporter, I saw what happened, it''s amazing, I must put it in the paper.
Wait ‘'til you read the headline - ”Arsenal fan saves mother and baby from savage Rottweiler!“… ”No, you can’'t write that“ said our hero. ”Why not?“ asked the reporter ”Because I''m not an Arsenal fan.“
”Oh, OK then, what about Chelsea fan saves mother and baby from savage Rottweiler!“… ”No, you can''t write that either“ said the chap.
”Why not?“ asked the reporter ”Because I''m not a Chelsea fan either“… ”Who do you support then?“ asked the reporter
”Manchester United“… ”Uh, right, I see. How about this then - Mank “ Bastard kills lovable family pet”…
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One day, a Liverpool fan was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. “For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes,” said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. “But there''s a catch,” the Genie continued. “What catch?” asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie replied, “For each of your wishes, every Man utd supporter in the world will receive double what you asked for.” “Hey, I can live with that! No problem!” replied the elated man. “What is your first wish?” asked the Genie. “Well, I''ve always wanted a Ferrari!” Poof ! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. “Now, every Man utd in the world has been given two Ferraris,” said the Genie. “What is your next wish?” “I could really use a million dollars…” replied the man, and Poof! One million dollars appeared at his feet. “Now, every Man utd fan in the world is two million dollars richer,” the Genie reminded the man. “Well, that''s okay, as long as I''ve got my million,” replied the Liverpool fan. “And what is your final wish?” asked the Genie. The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I''ve always wanted to donate a kidney…”
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Birkmundur hefur talað
Liverpool for eve