IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd
have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for
no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange
reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a manouvre would cause your car to
stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the
engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time,
unless you bought a “Car 95” or a “Car NT”. But then you'd
have to buy more seats.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy
to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft
upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go
much slower.

7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would
be replaced with a single “General Car Fault” warning light.

8. People would get excited about the “new” features in
Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been
available in other cars for many years.

9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto
fluids but the packaging would be supurb.

10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size
butt.

11.The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going
off.

12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea
what happened.

13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel
with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16
cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it
would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford
parts on it.

14. There would be an “Engium Pro” with bigger turbos, but it
would be slower on most existing roads.

15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player
which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play
Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade
to use existingstuff.

16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't
own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away
Microsoft cars free, including IBM!

17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN
3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be
able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could
just borrow your friends, and then copy it.

19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganise
the ignition for a few days before it worked.

20. You would need to by an upgrade to run cars on a motorway
next to each other.