Remember the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Here's a prime
example offered by an English professor at an American University.



“Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process
is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting
to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first
paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph
and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a
third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely
NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story
is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

> The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
> Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

> THE STORY:
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)

> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl.
His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
> —————————————————————————————-
> (second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in
orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses
of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one
sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? he said into his
transgalactic communicator. ”Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far…“ But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere
and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
> —————————————————————————————
> (Rebecca)
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards
the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. ”Congress Passes Law permanently Abolishing
War and Space Travel,“ Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming
of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent
wonder at all the beautiful things round her. ”Why must one lose one's innocence
to become a woman?“
she pondered wistfully.
> ————————————————————————————-
> (Gary)
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium
fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral
Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless
target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were
on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With
no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. ”We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow ‘em
out of the sky!“
> —————————————————————————————
> (Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
> —————————————————————————————
> (Gary)
Yeah? Well, you’re a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. ”Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such
an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
> ——————-
——————————————————————-
> (Rebecca)
> Asshole.
> —————————————————————————————
> (Gary)
> Bitch.
> ————————————————————————————
> (Rebecca)
> DICK!
> ————————————————————————————-
> (Gary)
> Slut.
> ————————————————————————————-
> (Rebecca)
> Get f*cked.
> —————————————————————————————
> (Gary)
> Eat shit.
> ————————————————————————————-
> (Rebecca)
> F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
> —————————————————————————————
> (Gary)
> Go drink some tea - whore.
> **********************************************
> (TEACHER)
> A+ - I really liked this one.