A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender,
“Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,
“Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb.blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.”



David Beckham - Postcard from madrid

Dear Gary
Hope you are well and Phil liked the wicker donkeys I sent.
Lots of people have been offering to help me out with the language, but
Victoria
says my English is fine as it is.
Everyone has been really friendly and the lads have got a great sense of
humour,
just like at United. Luis Figo's the funniest - every time he sees me he
says:
“I'm going to break your legs, pretty boy!” Keano would love it here.
It's nice to see Stevie again. He said to me only yesterday “I'm really
looking forward to helping you settle in. I've got you a nice spot next to me on the
bench”. He says he's got all sorts of training games we can play together,
like snap,dominoes and ludo but I think I'll be too busy with the football.
Victoria is very happy here already. We was listening to the radio the other
morning and the current Spanish Number One came on. It's called “Plinky
Plinky Techno Happy Plinky Plinky Bot Bot”. Victoria reckons she can come up with
something every bit as good.

You might have seen in the papers that they're going to let me share the
free-kicks with a bloke called Robert O'Carlos. Will you ask Keano if he
remembers him from his Ireland days? Luis says even though this O'Carlos
bloke can bend the ball really well, I'll still be the biggest bender at the club.
Which was nice of him.

Anyway, hope you and the lads are enjoying the preparations for the season
ahead. See you in the quarter-finals!

David