Þórhallur prestur vaknar á sunnudagsmorgni og sólin skín. Hann ákveður að í dag ætli hann að segjast vera veikur og hann komist ekki til messu. Svo hann hringir í annan prest, tilkynnir veikindin, nær svo í golfsettið sitt og læðupokast upp á golfvöll í þeirri von að enginn sjái hann. Á vellinum er ekki nokkur maður svo ráðabrugg Þórhalls prests ætlar að ganga upp. Uppi í Himnaríki snýr Lykla-Pétur sér að Guði og spyr: “Guð, ætlarðu að láta vígðan manninn komast upp með þetta?” Guð horfir niður á Þórhall prest þar sem hann slær teighöggið. Kúlan flýgur 420 metra í fallegum boga, skoppar einu sinni á flötinni og rennur svo beina leið ofan í holuna!
Kraftaverkahögg!
Lykla Pétur lýtur skilningsvana á Guð og spyr: ,,Hversvegna í ósköpunum léstu hann fara holu í höggi?“
Drottinn svarar: ,,Hverjum á hann að segja frá þessu?!”

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NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, “Pig #1, do you know your mission?” The pig replies, “Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink.”
Then NASA Control asks the second pig, “Pig #2, do you know your mission?”
The second pig replies, “Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink.”
Then NASA asks the blonde, “Blonde woman, do you know your mission?”
The blonde woman replies, “Ummmmmmm…. Oh yeah, I remember now. ‘Feed the pigs - and DON’T TOUCH A DAMNED THING!”

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David Beckham - Postcard from madrid

Dear Gary
Hope you are well and Phil liked the wicker donkeys I sent.
Lots of people have been offering to help me out with the language, but
Victoria
says my English is fine as it is.
Everyone has been really friendly and the lads have got a great sense of
humour,
just like at United. Luis Figo's the funniest - every time he sees me he
says:
“I'm going to break your legs, pretty boy!” Keano would love it here.
It's nice to see Stevie again. He said to me only yesterday “I'm really
looking forward to helping you settle in. I've got you a nice spot next to me on the
bench”. He says he's got all sorts of training games we can play together,
like snap,dominoes and ludo but I think I'll be too busy with the football.
Victoria is very happy here already. We was listening to the radio the other
morning and the current Spanish Number One came on. It's called “Plinky
Plinky Techno Happy Plinky Plinky Bot Bot”. Victoria reckons she can come up with
something every bit as good.

You might have seen in the papers that they're going to let me share the
free-kicks with a bloke called Robert O'Carlos. Will you ask Keano if he
remembers him from his Ireland days? Luis says even though this O'Carlos
bloke can bend the ball really well, I'll still be the biggest bender at the club.
Which was nice of him.

Anyway, hope you and the lads are enjoying the preparations for the season
ahead. See you in the quarter-finals!

David


;o) Þá er þetta víst búið