What did the ghost shake at the party?
Her boOoOo-ty
Who was the ghosts favorite former UN Secretary General?
BoOoOo-trous BoOoOo-trous Ghali


What disease frightens ghosts the most?
BoOoOo-bonic Plague


What do ghosts use to make beef or chicken broth?
BoOoOo-llion cubes


What sound do crying ghosts make?
BoOoOo-hoo


What was the ghosts favorite TV show?
BoOoOo-ffy the Vampire Slayer


Who was the ghosts favorite conservative intellectual?
William F. BoOoOo-ckley


What’s the difference between girl ghosts and boy ghosts?
BoOoOo-bies


Who was the ghost's favorite crooner?
Pat BoOoOo-ne


What sound do ghost bombs make?
BoOoOo-m

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One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

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A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ‘'Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ‘'What’s the 6-pack for?''

The father replies, ‘'Well, that’s for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ‘'Well, that’s for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for…..''

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One Side of a Phone Call between James Bond…


Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta?

Oh, grand! It's Bond.

James Bond? O07?

Shaken not stirred? Tuxedo? The trunk-sized jet pack? We had a run in with an Austrian terrorist with the overdeveloped reptilian brain and a predilection for man-eating octopi launching bazookas?

Well, contacting you took quite a bit of doing actually. You see, first I tried Giganta Crotchetta. I must have looked in every phone directory that MI-6 could hack into. Then I figured out that Giganta might be a code name. I mean, who has the name Giganta Crotchetta? Rather silly, when you think about it?

Yes, yes I suppose you do like it. Anyway, I recalled that I kept one of your garments – your knickers actually. And there it was. “Honey Rider” is a much prettier and commonplace name. You should use that.

Ah, yes. The, uh… point. Well, it seems that… well, there's no delicate way to put this. I have a rather nasty case of syphilis. And, um, I'm calling all my sexual partners to let them know that they should go get tested.

Uh-huh. Right. I know it was ten years ago. But the syphilis is rather unusual.

Well, it has gonorrhea.

Yes, my syphilis has gonorrhea.

And the gonorrhea has lice. And the lice have some undiscovered disease that's kind of between hemorrhagic fever and the mumps. It’s a virulent mutant strand developed by Dr. No-Means-Yes during Mission: “The Russian Spy Who Loved To Thunderball Me.”

Yes, I know I said I had a condom. But you see all the condoms I had were made by Q, and apparently, the condoms weren’t meant to be condoms – they were designed to be used as a pocket parachute. Good man. If you need to have your stapler work as a gun, he's your boy. Anyway, you didn’t notice because while we were passionately embraced, your tongue accidentally trigged my knockout gas tooth and you, um, drifted off to sleep. But trust me, you enjoyed yourself. They all do.

Anyway, with all the rather bizarre ailments my, um, bizarre ailments have, the doctors have advised me to contact everyone in my sexual history about my condition. No small feat, I assure you. If you saw the list, you'd think I'd been having sex with my fellow spies for 50 years!

Well, this is what the doctors suggest. Right now, I am in a remote island facility. Actually there's no facility. Just an island. And me. But they'e building one as soon as they can find enough hazmat suits. Anyway, a helicopter is going to pick you up and bring you to the island where we can be treated in isolation.

Chin up! Look at it this way: it'll give us a chance to get caught up. And maybe once some of the redness goes down, along with some of the greenness and the larvae, we can do some REAL reminiscing.

”Oh, James." What's that supposed to mean?

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There was a old man sitting on a bench outside the mall.
A young man walked who had spiked hair that was orange, yellow, green and red. The old man just looked at him.

The young man said ‘' What’s the matter old man? Haven't you ever done anything crazy in your life? ‘' And the old man said ’'Well actully I have. I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wandering if you were my son.''

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Njótið vel!.!