Once upon a time, a redhead, a brunnette and a blonde went to the ladies room. An old lady was sitting by the entrance and told them that the mirrors in there were magical. If you said something true in front of the mirror, you would be greatly rewarded, but if you said something false, you would be sucked into the mirror for all eternity.First, the redhead went up to the mirror and said “I think I'm the most beautiful one of us all!” and cash started raining all around her.Next came the brunnette and she said “I think I'm the smartest one of us all!” and she got keys to a brand new lexus.The blonde was next and she said “I think…” and she was sucked into the mirror for all eternity

There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, “TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX.” He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise. The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, “TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !” They looked at him and said, “what do you mean wrong hole?”

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ‘'If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ‘'If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.’'
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ‘'What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!’'
The kid smiles and says, ‘'I would be a bus driver!’'