Little James was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked on him to answer a question.

“James,” she said, “if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”

“None,” replied James, “because I would shoot one and the rest
would fly away.”

“Well, the answer I was looking for is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you are thinking.”

Then Little James said, “I have a question for you now”

If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one
was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone and the third was sucking the cone,which one is married?“

The teacher blushed and answered meekly, ”Well, I'm not sure. I
guess the one sucking the cone…“

”No,“ said Little James, ”the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking!“


You know the world is going crazy when

- the best rapper is a white guy,
- the best golfer is a black guy,
- the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
- the Swiss hold the America's Cup,
- France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance,
- Germany doesn't want to go to war,
- and the three most powerful men in America are named
'Bush', ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon’



The doc told Bob that masturbating before sex helped men last longer during the act.
Bob reckoned, ”What the ####, I'll give it a try.“ So, he spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized a solution.

On his way home, he pulled his pick-up truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants….

He closed his eyes and thought of the gorgeous girl who lived next door. As he continued, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Bob didn't want to lose his mental fantasy, so he kept his eyes shut, replying, ”What?“

He heard, ”This is the police. What's going on down there?“

Bob replied, ”I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted.“

The officer replied, ”Well, you should check your brakes while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."