PRENTARA VITLEYSINGAR:

Customer: “I tried to print but the computer can't find the printer. Come over and fix it, NOW!!!”
Tech Support: “Is it turned on?”

Silence.

Customer: “It's turned on NOW, but it still doesn't print.”
Tech Support: “Did you let it warm up?”

Silence.

Customer: “It seems to be working now. I guess you don't have to come over.”
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Yesterday a well-known customer with frequent printer problems called me, saying: “It won't print anymore, just as usual”.

Customer: “It won't print anymore, just as usual.”
Tech Support: “Well, is the printer turned on?”
Customer: “Well, yes, but…the PC ain't. Never mind. Bye.”
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Got a call from a woman said that her laser printer was having problems: the bottom half of her printed sheets were coming out blurry. It seemed strange that the printer was smearing only the bottom half. I walked her through the basics, then came over and printed out a test sheet. It printed fine. I asked her to print a sheet, so she sent a job to the printer. As the paper started coming out, she yanked it out and showed it to me. I told her to wait until the paper came out on its own. Problem solved.
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We had a customer that returned a printer to the store complaining about feed problems. He was trying to print on a “plain white tea towel,” and it jammed. The towel was still in the printer when he brought it back.
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Customer: “I stuck something in my printer, and now it doesn't work.”
Tech Support: “What did you put in it?”
Customer: “It's a tortilla.”
Tech Support: “Uh. How did you come to have a tortilla stuck in your printer?”
Customer: “I own a tortilla business. I thought it would be cool to print my logo on a tortilla.”
I continue to be amazed that there are certain people out there that have access to technology.
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I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow – but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, “Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow construction paper?”

Sometimes the user can teach us a thing or two about tech support.
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Customer: “I just bought one of your computer packages, but I can't get the printer to work.”
Tech Support: “Ok, what is doing?”
Customer: “It just doesn't work. When i try to print, nothing at all happens, and then my computer says that I can't find my printer.”
Tech Support: “Are you sure that you had the printer hooked up correctly?”
Customer: “Yes, I have it plugged into the wall.”
Tech Support: “Do you have the printer cable plugged into your computer?”
Customer: “I don't know. I was reading the instructions, and it was saying something about plugging it into the computer, but that was too complicated. I just set the printer right next to the computer, like it shows in the picture. I thought that it might be too far away, but I got it as close as I could, and it still wouldn't work.”
Tech Support: “Um….. You need to plug you printer cable in. It goes from your printer to your computer. I think you should have gotten one with your computer package. Do you have one?”
Customer: “i don't think so. I had some weird looking cable, but I thought it was extra, so I threw it away.”
Tech Support: “Well, you are going to need to get another printer cable, and you use it to connect the printer to the computer.”
Customer: “It doesn't show that in the picture.”
Tech Support: “Well, it may not show it there, but you do need it for your printer to work.”
Customer: “Oh. Ok. This is all pretty confusing.”
Tech Support: “All you need to do is get a printer cable and then plug your printer into your computer.”
Customer: “So you mean I need to buy extra stuff to get my computer to work?”
Tech Support: “No, one came with you computer, but you said you threw it away.”
Customer: “I think I'm just going to call the neighbor. I think he will be able to get it to work.”
Tech Support: “Ok ma'am, but you will need a printer cable.”
Customer: “My neighbor is pretty good with computers.”
Tech Support: “Ok, have a nice day.”
I burst out laughing as soon as she left.
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Student: “My paper won't print.”
Teacher: “Did you tell it to print?”
Student: “Oh yeah, right. How do I do that?”
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One afternoon, I was sitting next to a friend of mine at one of the University of New Hampshire's computer clusters. The guy on the other side of him asked for help printing a file. My friend told him the correct command that would send his document to the correct printer. When it didn't work, my friend took a closer look at the problem. It turned out that the reason the file wouldn't print was because he had not yet created it.
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A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech support number, complaining about the error message: “Can't find the printer.” On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.
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I'd been on the phone for a good number of minutes to this user, trying to verify the status of a particular record to see why it wasn't included on a report. I managed to get every detail off the screen, except the one field I really needed.


Tech Support: “Ok, just print out the record, and fax it over to me so I can read the bits I need.”
Customer: “How do I do that?”
Tech Support: “Just type ‘print’.”
Customer: “It's asking where I want to send it.”
Tech Support: “Ok, select your printer.”
Customer: “Now what?”
Tech Support: “Just fax that over.”
Customer: “Fax what?”
Tech Support: “The stuff that came out of your printer.”
Customer: “What's that?”
Tech Support: “What's what?”
Customer: “A printer?”
Tech Support: “Well, it's the thing that prints. It's a bit like a typewriter with no keys. You put plain paper in one end, and it comes out the other end with writing on it.”
Customer: “What color is it?”
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I was at a client site, which happens to be a park district pool. I was there to finish a computer survey, and was asked, “Since you're here, can you fix the printer in the poolside office?” I went in there, and was told by the supervisor that an employee who thought he was “a computer demigod” tried to fix it but might have made it worse.

Understatement of the year.

The “demigod” opened the case and tried to yank out the toner cartridge without releasing the clips that hold it down. He ripped the top off the toner cartridge, which I had just replaced two weeks ago.

When he ripped it off, there was a cloud of toner that went all over the place, both inside the printer and outside, all over the walls, windows, desk, keyboard, computer, mouse…everything. To try to cover it up he got a wet beach towel and tried to wipe it all up, leaving nice black smears all over the places that wouldn't clean off. The toner shorted out the main circuit board in the printer and fried the keyboard, which he had rinsed off in the sink and plugged back into the computer. In addition, toner spilled into the wall mounted air conditioner and shorted out the electronics in there as well. So, in addition to making a huge mess, he failed to fix the printer's original problem. What was the printer's original problem? It was out of paper.
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Nennti ekki að senda inn meira….fólk missir áhugan við að lesa mikið í einu…. :)
adios!