THE GAME'S AFOOT

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal
and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn
is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a
quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful
and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect
that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

“Watson, you idiot. Some bastard has stolen our tent.”


Tveir vinir voru saman í útilegu í Ástralíu, þeir voru nýbúnir að koma sér fyrir þegar annar ákvað að fara að míga. Allt í einu heyrist skaðræðis öskur og félaginn kemur hlaupandi út úr runnanum og gargar “SNÁKUR BEIT MIG Í TIPPIÐ!!”.
Hinn segir honum að bíða á meðan hann fer í bæinn og nær í lækni.
Þannig að hann fer í bæinn og eftir langa mæðu finur hann lækni.
“Læknir!! Vinur minn var bitinn af snáki!!!” segir vinurinn, “það er alt í lagi” segir læknirinn “eina sem þú þarft að gera er að sjúga eitrið úr”.
Vinurinn þakkar honum fyrir og flýtir sér til baka. Þegar að hann kemur öskrar slasaði vinurinn á hann, “HVAÐ SAGÐI LÆKNIRINN, HVAÐ SAGÐI HANN?”,
“Hann sagði að þú ættir engan möguleika”.


THE PENGUINS
There was this truck driver who had to deliver five hundred penguins to
the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck
breaks down. After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours
he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these
penguins to the state zoo for him.

The next day the first truck driver arrives in town and sees the second
truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file
behind him.

The first truck driver jumps out of his truck and says, “What's going
on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!”

The second truck driver replies, “I did take them to the zoo. And I had
enough money left over so now we're going to see a movie.”