Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the “Axis of
Evil”, Libya,
China and Syria today announced that they had formed the
“Axis
of Just as Evil”, which they said would be “more evil than
that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis” President Bush warned of in his
State of
the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new
Axis as
having, “for starters, a really dumb name”. “Right. As if
they are
just as aa evil … in their dreams!” declared North Korean
leader Kim
Jong-il. “Everybody knows we're the best evils? eh evilest?
that we're
the best.”

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
excluded, although
they conceded they had asked if they could join the Axis of
Evil. “They told us it was full,” said Syrian President
Bashar al-Assad.

“An axis can't have more than three countries”, explained
Iraqi President
Saddam Hussein. “This is not my rule, it's tradition. In
World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil
Axis. So, you
can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is
wickedly
cool.”

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration
was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere,
peer-conscious
nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become
a game of
geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the
“Axis of Somewhat
Evil”, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in
the
“Axis of Occasionally Evil”, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and
Russia
established the “Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just
Generally
Disagreeable”.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable
clubs filling up,
Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called
the “Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly
Won't Be Asked
to Host the Olympics”.

Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the “Axis of Nations
That Are Actually
Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About
America”, while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established
the “Axis of
Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick”. “That's not a
threat,
really, just something we like to do”, said Scottish
Executive First
Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't
perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis,
although he rejected the establishment of the “Axis of
Countries Whose
Names End in ‘Guay”, accusing one of its members of filing a
false
application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay
denied the
charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn’t want to join any Axis,
but privately
world leaders said that's only because no one has asked
them.

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