“A School in Manchester”

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked
over to his star player and said, “I'm not supposed to let you play
since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do
is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”
The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked,
“Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is
two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then answered, “4?” “Did you say
4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly
all the other players on the team began screaming…, “Come on coach,
give him another chance!”

Q: What's the best way to play a banjo?
A: With a hack saw.

Q: What's the least used sentence in the English language?
A: “Is that the banjo player's Porsche?”

Q: What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: A chain saw has greater dynamic range.

There's nothing I like better than the sound of a banjo, unless of course
it's the sound of a chicken caught in a vacuum cleaner.

Female five string banjoist shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping
mall: “Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string.”

Q:What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test?
A:Drool



Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first
engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then
proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper
towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried.
Turning to the other two engineers, he said, “At Hewlett Packard, we are
trained to be extremely thorough.”
The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash
his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his
hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said,
“At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but
we are also trained to be extremely efficient.”
The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over
his shoulder, "At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands