Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2
which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently
conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and
run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse,
Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such
as Lads' Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware
beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 which I tried had many bugs and left a virus
in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same
time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they
caused severe damage to my hardware. Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to
Fiancee 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at
great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife
1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with
FreeS*x Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.

Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be
very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgot about them. Wife 1.0
also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can,
without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip!

These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what
the problem is myself. Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs
updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments also
Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drains my
resources. It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try
stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself
to my Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry.

Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which
can't be turned off.

Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems.
A friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence
of Mistress 2000 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before
un-installing itself.

Any Ideas?