Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six
whole days.

Eventually Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh
day. he inquired of God, “Where have you been?”

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds. “Look Michael, look what I've made” he said
excitedly.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

“It's a planet” replied God, “and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to
call it EARTH, and it's going to be a place of great balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the Earth. “For example,
North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while
South America is going to be poor. The Middle east over there will be
a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and
over there a continent of black people.” God continued, pointing to
different countries. “This one will be extremely hot and arid, while
this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God's work then pointed to a small dot in
the middle of a small land mass and asked, “What's that?”

“Ah,” said God, “That's LEEDS, the most glorious place on the
Earth. There is beautiful scenery with breathtaking views. The people
of Leeds will be modest, intelligent and humorous. They will not be
afraid to laugh at themselves. They will be found travelling the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hard working, and high achieving. But
they will remain loyal to their town and never for get their roots.
They will spread happiness and admiration wherever they go.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, “What
about balance GOD, you said there would be balance.”

God replied wisely,

“Wait until you see the w*nkers I'm putting next to them in
Manchester.”