A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun.
“Open the fucking safe!” he yells at the woman behind the counter.
“But we're not a real bank,” she replies, “we don't have any money,this is a sperm bank.”
“Don't fucking argue, open the fucking safe or I'll blow your head off!” says the guy with the gun. She obliges and once she's opened the safe door the guy says,
“Take out one of the bottles and drink it.”
“But it's full of sperm!' she replies nervously.
”Don't argue, just drink it' he says. She pries the cap off and gulps it down.“ ”Take out another one and drink it, too!“ he demands. She takes out another and drinks it as well. Suddenly the guy pulls off the mask and to the woman's amazement it's her husband!
”There!“ he says, ”it's not that fucking difficult is it! ?!“



This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok.
She replies, ”Yes.“ He asks, ”What are you doing?“
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her, ”Why the hell do you have a ski jacket over a fur coat?“ She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said….

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS




Hung Chow: ”Hey, boss I not come work today. I really sick.
I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work.
“The boss says: ”You know Hung Chow, I really need you today.
When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work.
You should try that.

“Two hours later Hung Chow calls:
”Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."