“Sure,” says the farmer, “as long as you promise not to stick your winky into the three holes.” The man promises, and the farmer leaves him there. Of course, he can't resist, and the farmer is woken up in the middle of the night by screams coming from the barn. The farmer goes down and finds the guy stuck in the third hole.
“What are in these holes?” the guy screams.
“Well,” says the farmer, “one of them's my daughter, one's my cow, and one of them's an automatic milking machine that doesn't stop until it gets five gallons.”
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What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs! Ha!
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Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?
She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
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In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.”
Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. “Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, ‘Who was our first president?’, and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put ‘George Washington,’ and so did you.”
“So, everyone knows that he was the first president.”
“Well, just wait a minute,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who freed the slaves?’ Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.”
“Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Johnny.
“Wait, wait,” said Mr. Johnson. The next question was, ‘Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?’ Mary put ‘I don't know,’ and you put, ‘Me neither’.”
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What happens to you when you find out a blonde passed a test?
You wake up.
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