Jack Daniel's makes your list of Most Admired People.

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, Hey, y'all watch this!

You've got more than one brother named ‘Darryl.’

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is Out Of Your League bowls on a different night.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, ‘Gentlemen, start your engines’

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart ‘cause there’s a law against it.

You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

Your father executes the “pull my finger” trick during Christmas dinner.

You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

You think the OJ Trial is a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.

The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took

Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.

You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.