Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by
from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these
years?” The Fairy Godmother replied “Well Cinderella, since you have lived
a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3
wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”
Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration
and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish “I wish I was wealthy
beyond comprehension.”
Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was
stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the
edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said “Oh thank you, Fairy
Godmother”. The Fairy Godmother replied “It is the least I can do. What does
your heart wish for your second wish?”
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said “I wish I was young and
full of the beauty of youth again”.
At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful
youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had
been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course
through her very soul.
Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke “You have one more wish, what shall you
have?” Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said
“I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young
man”.
Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological
make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like
of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to
fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke
“Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And, with a blazing shock
of bright blue electricity,she was gone.
For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had
ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her
rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leant in close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered,
blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, “I bet you regret having my
balls chopped off now, don't you?”
“He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy” - Terry Jones, Life Of Brian