There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia
Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train
going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went
through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,
there were no lights in the carriages and it went
completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and
the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia
Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing
had happened and the Englishman had
His hand against his face as he had been slapped
there.

The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Irish fella must
have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and
slapped me instead.’

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must
have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman
and got slapped for it.’

And the Irishman was thinking: ‘This is great. The
next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make
another kissing noise and slap that English bastard
again.’