Halló við erum tvær sæðisfrumur og heitum Óli og Bjarni, við leitum eftir eggjum……..????? Vitið þið veginn??
Ha við??
Nei, við heitum Karíus og Baktus og við vinnum bara hérna!
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for
his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster
and says, “OK old fart, time for you to retire.”
The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL
of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?”
The young rooster says, “Beat it: You are washed up and I am
taking over. ”he old rooster says, “I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the
exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.”
The young rooster laughs. “You know you don't stand a chance
old man. So just to be fair I will give you a head start.”
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the
young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young
rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the
front porch when he sees the roosters running by.
He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM! He blows the young rooster to
bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says “Dang it…. third
gay rooster I bought this month.”
Moral of this story….Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age and
treachery will always overcome youth and skill!
Einu sinni voru tveir menn á kaffihúsi á Íslandi, Normaður og
Íslendingur.
Íslendingurinn var að borða á kaffihúsinu. Hann var að borða brauð
Með ávaxtasultu og Normaðurinn var með tyggjó. Þá labbaði Normaðurinn að Íslendinginum og spurði: “Borðar þú skorpurnar á brauðinu”? -Íslendingurinn: “Já auvitað. Af hverju spyrðu að þessu”. -Normaðurinn: “Ekki við í Noregi. Við sendum þær í endurvinnslu og búum til brauð úr þeim og sendum til Íslands”. Eftir dálitla stund kom Normaðurinn aftur og spurði: “Hvað gerir þú við híðið af ávöxtunum Þegar þú borðar ávöxt”.
-Íslendingurinn: “Auðvitað hendum við því í ruslið”.
-Normaðurinn: “Ekki við. Við sendum það í endurvinnslu og búum til
ávaxtasultu úr því og sendum hana til Íslands”. Nú var Íslendingnum nóg boðið og sagði: “Hvað gerir þú við smokkana þegar þú ert búinn að nota þá”?
-Normaðurinn:“Auðvitað hendum við þeim í ruslið”.-Íslendingurinn:
“Ekki við. Við sendum þá í endurvinnslu og búum til tyggjó úr þeim og sendum til Noregs”.
There was a cruise ship going through some rough
waters that ended up sinking just off the coast of a
small deserted island…………
There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl……….
They lived there for a couple of years doing what
was natural for men and women to do…………..
After several years of casual sex all the time, the
girl felt really bad about what she had been doing…..
She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that
she killed herself……………
It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get
through it and after a while nature once more took
it's inevitable course……………….
Well, a couple more years went by and the guys
began to feel absolutely horrible about what they
where doing…………………
So…………….
….. ………..
…………….
…………….
…………….
…………….
…………… .
…………….
They buried her.