* “Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices.”
* “It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance.”

* “Without Greeks, we wouldn't have history.”

* “One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable.”

* “Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey.”

* “Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of the same name.”

* “In the Olympics Games, Greeks ran races jumped, hurled the
biscuits, and threw the java.”

* “The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.”

* “When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.”

* “Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks.”

The Bible

* “In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.”

* “Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.”

* “Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.”

* “Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.”

* “Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.”

* “Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.”

* “Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.”

* “The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.”

* “Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.”

* “The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.”

* “The Fifth Commandment is ‘Humor thy father and mother.’”

* “The Seventh Commandment is ‘Thou shalt not admit adultery.’”

* “Moses died before he ever reached Canada.”

* “Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.”

* “The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.”

* “David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.”

* “David fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.”

* “Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.”

* “The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.”

* “The epistles were the wives of the apostles.”

* “St. Paul cavorted to Christianity.”

* “Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.”

* “In some religions a man can have many wives, and this is called polygamy. In our religion a man can have one wife, and this is called monotony.”

Literature

* “Romeo and Juliet were a romantic couplet.”