The following are quotes from answers given by 7th through 12th grade students on science and history exams.
They were supplied by teachers across the nation.

Science:


* “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe,you expire.”

* “H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”

* “To collect fumes of suphur, hold on a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”

* “When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.”

* “Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.”

* “Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and
caterpillars.”

* “The largest organ in the human body is the head.”

* “Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, then expectoration.”

* “Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.”

* “A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

* “The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.”

* “Germinate means to become a naturalized German.”

* “The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off.”

* “A planet is a body of Earth surrounded by sky.”

* “A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”

* “To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.”

* “The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.”

* “The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours.”

* “Algebracial symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.”

* “We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by
spontaneous generation and the study of rocks.”

* “The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.”

* “English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.”

* “People shouldn't be allowed to shoot extinct animals.”

* “Humans are more intelligent than beasts because human branes have more convulsions.”

* “If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.”

* “A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.”

Medicine:

* “For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.”

* “For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.”

* “For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.”

* “For fractures: To see if the limb is broken, giggle it gently back and forth.”

* “For dust in the eye: Pull the eye down over the nose.”

* “Blood flows down one leg and back the other.”

* “When you haven't enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.”

* “Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”

* “Many women believe that an alcoholic beverage will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.”

* “A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cupids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”

Geography:

* “Rhode.” – An answer given to the question, “What is the only island state?”

History:

* “The Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense.”

* “Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.”

* “Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes.”

* “The system involving barons and lords was called the futile system.”

* “Milton wrote ‘Paradise Lost.’ Then his wife dies, and he wrote ‘Paradise Regained.’”

* “Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.”

* “The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died, and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.”

* “Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.”

* “Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.”

* “Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel.”

* “Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.”

* “Bach died from 1750 to the present.”

* “Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He expired in 1827 and later died for this.”

* "[Napoleon] wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.“

* ”The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.“

* ”Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.“

* ”Queen Victoria's reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality.“

* ”Queen Victoria's death was the final event which ended her reign.“

* ”Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis."