Jæja, þá held ég áfram með kærustu talninguna. Seinast var það Joey og nú er komið að Chandler. Hann hefur átt bunch af kærustum og allar jafn “asnalegar”. Sérstaklega hin pirrandi Janice. Það liggur við að maður þurfi að taka eitthvað “róandi” þegar maður sér hana.

1. SERÍA

Janice:
Fyrsta kærastan var hin leiðinlega Janice. “OH MY GOOOD” stelpan sem allir hljóta að kannast við.
Quote:
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping…(rótar í töskunni sinni) … and I got you, I´m looking, I´m looking, I´m looking, I got you…
(Chandler sér Phoebe hætta með Tony (kærastanum sínum). Phoebe faðmar Tony og hann gengur rólega burt. Chandler er hissa hvað þetta var auðvelt hjá henni)
Chandler: What?
Janice: What?
Chandler: What… did you get me there?
Janice: I got you…these. (dregur upp par af sokkum)
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That´s so sweet.
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky ,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want

Aurora;
Chandler hitti hana á leikriti sem Joey var í. Hann var með henni einn þátt. . . . en hann hætti með henni þegar hann komst að því að hún átti eiginmann og tvo kærasta, fyrir utan sig.
Quote:
Chandler: Who´s Rick?
Aurora: My husband.
Chandler: Oh, so you´re divorced?
Aurora: No.
Chandler: Oh, I´m sorry, then you´re widowed?…Hopefully?
Aurora: No, I´m still married.
Chandler: So tell me, how do - how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?…Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Aurora: Don´t worry. I imagine he´d be okay with you because really, he´s okay with Ethan.
Chandler: Ethan? There´s, there´s an Ethan?
Aurora: Mmmm. . . Ethan is my . . . boyfriend.

Næstu tvær konurnar í lífinu hans var Janice, TVISVAR. Eitt skipti þegar það voru áramót og hann vildi hafa einhvern til að kyssa á miðnætti. . . og svo þegar hann fór á “blint stefnumót” með vinkonu kærustu Joeys.
Quote:
Chandler: Ok, I´m makin´ a break for it, I´m goin´ out the window.
Joey: No, no, no, don´t ! I´ve been waitin for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I´ve dumped twice in the last five months!

Nina:
Nina vann með Chandler og Chandler fékk það verkefni að reka hana. En auðvitað gat hann það ekki. . . . Hún var of FLOTT.
Quote:
Mr. Douglas: She´s still here.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didn´t I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen - nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Chandler: And err, he informed me that uh, she took the news rather badly, in fact, he uh, mentioned the word frenzy.
Mr. Douglas: You´re kidding? She seems so…
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina . . . . she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Mr. Douglas: That´s unbelievable.
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.

Danielle:
Svo kom Danielle. Hún var bara einn þátt. Chandler fór á stefnumót með henni og beið allan þáttinn eftir að hún hringdi tilbaka . . . .
Chandler: Okay, I´m gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone ?
Monica: Why don´t you just take it with you?
Chandler: Hey, we haven´t been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee ?
Monica: Why don´t you just call her?
Chandler: I can´t call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
Monica: Do you?
Chandler: No ! (Hringir) Danielle, hi! It´s, uh, it´s Chandler! (Hlustar) I´m fine. Uh, listen, I don´t know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Hlustar) Oh, uh, okay, that´s fine, that´s great. (Hlustar) Okay. (Leggur símann niður) She´s on the other line, she´s gonna call me back. (Hann byrjar að dansa) She´s on the other line, she´s gonna call me back, she´s on the other line, gonna call me back…
Monica: Don´t you have to pee?
Chandler: That´s why I´m dancing . . .

2. SERÍA.

Bara tvær minnir mig í annarri seríu. Susie sem Julia Roberts lék og . . . . JANICE AFTUR !

Susie:
Hún var leikkona sem lék í Outbreak 2 með Marcel. Hún var einnig fyrrum bekkjarfélagi Chandlers. . . . . og var í rauninni með Chandler til að hefna sín á honum.

SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
SUSIE: I want you right here, right now.
CHANDLER: Right now, right here. Don´t ya think we´re in kind of a public plaaaa [Susie grípur í *****] They do have the shrimp.
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom

Janice:
Ahhh. . . . . hún kom aftur. Í þetta skiptið hitti Chandler hana á ircinu og hitti hana á Central Perk. Hann vissi SKO alls ekki að þetta var Janice. En núna varð hann rosa ástfanginn af henni og fannst hún alls ekki pirrandi. Þau voru saman nokkra þætti.
Quote:
CHANDLER: Morning.
JOEY: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
CHANDLER: Yeah, like there´s any way I could ever do that.
JANICE: (kemur syngjandi) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (hlær. . . ég fæ hroll) Good morning Joey.


3. SERÍA

Ginger:
Konan með gervifótinn. Hún hafði eitt sinn verið á föstu með Joey en hann hafði “óvart” kastað fótnum hennar inn í arinn.
Chandler og hún hætti saman vegna þess að Ginger fannst þriðja geirvartan á honum “ógeðsleg”.
Quote:
Ginger: What´s that?
Chandler: That´s-that´s my nubbin.
Ginger: What´s a nubbin?
Chandler: It´s kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Ginger: You have three nipples?
Chandler: Well, y´know two regulars. And ah one that barely qualifies as . . . (byrjar að kyssa hana en hún stendur upp) Ahh, what?
Ginger: Nothing. I, I just remembered I have to leave.
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Ginger: Ah well, it´s nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y´know what, I´ll see you later. Okay. (gengur fram á gang og kemur með svona svip eins og þegar krít er rennt niður töflu)

Joanna:
Yfirmaðurinn hennar Rachel. Chandler fannst hún ótrúlega leiðinleg. . . en vildi ekki segja henni upp. Rachel neyddi hann til þess því að þetta var nú yfirmaðurinn hennar.
Quote:
Joanna: [við Rachel] So ah, what´s wrong with him?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, he´s just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Rachel: No!! No! He´s not married, or involved, with anyone!
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (smá hik) actually, y´know what, forget it.
Rachel: Well, I´ll ask him for you, if you want me too?
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y´know something that Sophie would do?
Sophie: Uh, uh, uh, I am here.
Joanna: I know that.

4. SERÍA

Joana:
Joana kom tvisvar aftur í þessari seríu. Í TOW the cuffs og TOW where they´re going to a party. Enn bara eitt skipti sem kærasta Chandlers. Hinn var þegar Rachel átti að fá stöðuhækkun en Joana dó rétt áður en hún gat veitt henni hana.
Quote:
Chandler: It just doesn´t . . . .feel like we´re breaking up.
Joanna: No, we are. I´m sad.
Chandler: Okay.
(byrja að kyssast en síminn hringir)
Joanna: (svarar í símann) Yes. (hlustar) Uh, can´t you wait until tomorrow? (hlustar) All right. (leggur tólið niður) Unbelievable!!
Chandler: Thanks.
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Chandler: Okay. (byrjar að hneppa upp skyrtunni sinni)
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I´m getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler: When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me.

Kathy:
Muna allir eftir þessari. Chandler “stal” henni af Joey. Þau voru ástfanginn í nokkra þætti. . . . þangað til hún stakk af með öðrum manni.
Quote:
[The Chick and The Duck labba inn í stofuna]
Chandler: All right look, if you´re not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
Chandler: What?
Joey: Yeah! But if would´ve know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldn´t have worried about it so much! See you around!
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey lítur dularfullslega) What?
Joey: We´ve got a box. (bendir á stóran kassa í íbúðinni)

Janice:
Enn einu sinni Janice . . . . . og núna losnar Chandler við hana með því að fara til YEMEN.
Chandler: Well, I-I guess I gotta go.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. I´ll wait for you. Do you even know how long you´re going to be gone?
Chandler: Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.
Janice: Oh. Well, I´ll right you everyday. 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Chandler: Okay, good-bye. Good-bye.
(Hann réttir konu flugmiðann og gengur inn flugganginn. Þegar hann heldur að Janice sé farinn gengur hann fram aftur)
Janice: Chandler?
Chandler: No!
Janice: Chandler!
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Janice: No! No! I wanna see you take-off.
Chandler: Well, I then guess I´m going to Yemen! I´m going to Yemen! (Talar við gamla konu við hliðina á honum) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?

Marjorie:
Varla kærasta. . . en Chandler bauð henni út. Það var ekkert meira um hana (held ég)
Quote:
Marjorie: I´m Marjorie.
Chandler: Hi.
Marjorie: Hi.
Chandler: You mind if I . . . . .
Marjorie: No, please.
(Sest við hliðina á henni)
Chandler: So uh, what are you in for?
Marjorie: I talk in my sleep.
Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep.
Joey: (sofandi) So why don´t you give me your number?

Monica:
Loksins núverandi kærastan hans, Monica. Þau sváfu fyrst saman í London. . . og svo þróaðist sambandið og giftingin á næsta leyti.
Quote:
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Chandler: (í vörn) I´m not seeing Monica.
Joey: (Ruglaður) What?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Look we´ve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel´s coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Chandler: Oh my god!
Joey: I know! That´s why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Chandler: No!! Okay!! What´s with the third degree?! Why don´t you just shine a light in my eyes?!

Jæja. . . þá eru allar upptaldar. Held Ég. Ef það vantar einhverja . . . þá bara vantar einhverja :)