Hehe, sá þetta. Algjör snilld. En allavega ég set þetta bara inn eins og ég fann þetta:
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form
called a “Gripe Sheet,” which tells mechanics
about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document
their repairs on the form, and then pilots review
the gripe sheets before their next flight. Never
let it be said that ground crews lack a sense
of humor!
Here are some actual maintenance complaints
submitted by Qantas pilots (marked with a “P”)
and the solutions recorded by maintenance
engineers (marked with an “S”).
By the way, QANTAS is the only airline that
has never had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200' per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And, the best one has been saved for last…..
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.