I was in English class a few days ago and my teacher was talking to us about literature and how to define it. As literature is an art form, it really all comes down to ones opinion as I pointed out in class. I had the book: Along hard road out of hell by Marilyn Manson with me and pointed out that in my opinion the book is an example of literature even though some other people might not deem it so. A fat bitch sitting beside me all of a sudden started protesting, claiming how disgusting Manson is and how scary he is and a bunch of other stupid bullshit. All of a sudden it struck me how it never ceases to amaze me how ignorant people can be. Not much unlike Manson, I surround myself with images and thoughts of death, destruction, war, suicide, murder, violence in order to overcome my own ignorance with those issues. Sure I fucking hate conservatives, Nazis and so on, but I still find them fascinating and I read a shitload about them to try and understand how people can become so insane.
That got me thinking further into other ideas, including Christianity. It has become so flawed and far away from it's original purpose that it's frightening. The best example that I can give is the kind that I've been talking about on this site on several occasions: American evangelical Christians, which is probably the most dangerous sect of Christianity in its 2000 year history. They actually believe that the apocalypse will come in their lifetime, but what they don't realize is that the apocalypse is not a fire and brimstone end of the world type of ordeal. The apocalypse is an internal struggle that we all must face and go through in order to become a better, more understanding and caring human being.
In my opinion my own apocalypse started almost 6 years ago and ended a few months ago. When my apocalypse started I had just learned that I would be moving again, a fear that almost continues to haunt me to this day. Slowly over a long period of time I slowly descended into a serious depression, with the occasional hopeful chapter that quickly got crushed by some new problem or fear. After 4 years of living in doubt and hatred for everything I do, I moved back to my homeland In hope of a fresh start. In the beginning things seemed to be getting better, but all the issues that had built up during my life were starting to cripple me, and last spring it did destroy me in a certain sense. Only after being destroyed could I be reborn and rebuild myself into something better. Instead of using music to escape this world, it suddenly became something else. It brought a meaning and a purpose to life that I couldn't see before. I can now look hopefully towards the future without constant despair.
The biggest cliché in history just happens to be true: EVERY day is a new chance to turn things around, whether it be how you are feeling, your education, your job, or the entire world. Through my apocalypse I have transformed from an insecure little brat who was disgusted by his own reflection into a better human being with a profound respect for life. Only by dancing with death every day and realizing that death can come at any moment can you really begin to appreciate life. And even though ignorance is slowly destroying everything humanity holds dear, I can still look hopefully towards the future and hope I can have some small effect on the world that makes it change for the better.
I think I better change my profile because I really don't belong under any current form of Christianity. Jesus never said he was the son god, he said we are all gods children and thereby my faith shouldn't really be named after that man, however brilliant he was, and possibly even miraculous, he was a MAN. The bible is so stuffed with lies and contradictions that try and prevent human beings from being fucking human beings. Religion should be about love, peace and respect, but instead for a lot of people it's a bunch of bitching and fighting about who is more righteous and holy than the other.
And while I'm at it, the devil as some evil entity or figure does not exist. God created the devil: humans. Only something truly evil could possibly cause the outrageous acts of violence and greed that humans have throughout history, most of them in the name of religion.
Maybe I should just call my religion godism, witch believes in the fundamental rules of every religion, where everyone must form their own opinion on what their religion is. Sin is still sin of course because nobody really wants to live in sin, but they do because they are afraid of people's judgment. When I say sin I mean the 10 commandments because they are pretty fucking good list of rules to live your life by, but having sex with someone before you get married, NOT A SIN, being gay, NOT A SIN. Christianity has somehow convinced some people that besides the 10 commandments, there are other sins which you can commit.
In my opinion there really should be 11 commandments. The new one being an excellent way to change humanity for the better. To interfere with a personal choice a grown individual makes weather it's eating an apple or injecting heroin into your veins should be sinful unless that individual is interfering with another individual's personal choice or freedom. If you're not interfering with another person's freedom when you do drugs, you should have a right to destroy yourself, you may just be reborn for the better.
P.S. I don't give a fuck about being politically correct, as long as you mean well towards a proper human being, what words you use don't matter. FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK
Ég skrifaði þetta á ensku vegna þess að mér finnst léttast að tjá mig almenilega þannig.