Hérna eru fullt að góðum setningum og frásögnum sem ég fann á netinu. Hversvegna ekki að senda það inn sem grein? Það hefur verið svo langt síðan einhver sendi inn grein, svo að…

Sorry, en þetta er allt á ensku…

Enjoy:)

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Throwing a fireball inside a dragons lair after the D.M. told you that you smell gas.

Trying to get your thief character to jump off of his hiding ledge onto an unsepecting warrior and being scured by the horns on his helmet.

Thinking that anyone called the Grand Master of Flowers must be a pushover.

You followed Boo the space hamster back to his home planet, but kill yourself because you were rejected by the other space hamsters.

I told you not to poke the dragon.

The robotic Richard Simmons.

Worshipping the Lady of Pain rag doll.

The public finding out you were the transexual king of the dark elves.

Slipping on some water, then falling down the stairs into the torture chamber, where you stumble over a table and land your head in a gillotine and knock the blade loose efectively decapitating you.

Don't be afraid guys. The dragon just wants to talk!

Alright! A chest full of Gnomish stuff!

“Warning! DO NOT PULL ROPE!”

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Spooking my mule from behind

Four words: lost bet, chicken, asphyxiation

Haggling with a Storm Giant: “Tell you what, if you leave now, I won't kill you.”; “Sounds good, but what if you threw in some gold to seal the deal?”

Made a Gnomish Alchemist and turned a troll blue with powders (he didn't appreciate it).

Forgot to eat waiting for NWN to come out.

Kid
Warrior of Disregard

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I told you, there is no possible way the levitation spell will wear off during our crossing.

'SALT?' I thought you said make the pentagram out of sugar.

Why are you running, it's only one kobold.

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-Yes, I'm sure the Tarrasaque is friendly. I mean come on! Who doesnt like Paladins…

-Wow, thats a wicked scimitar that dark elf has! I want to pick-pocket him! He's who? Drizzt? Neverheard of him…

-Here basalik, basalik, basalik…

-Pleasure to meet you Mr., …eh…what did you say your name was again? Ah yes, Mr. Bhaal.

-Hey, she looks hot! What this guys…(I says as I stride up to LLOTH.)

-Man I'm hungry…toss me that troll leg will ya?

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- “You guys stand back, I can take them.”

- After being granted and audiance by the king and greeted by His Royal Highness, I responded with “Shut-upeth thy face”. (true story)

- I decided that 15% Disarm Traps skill was “enough” to break into the Thieve's Guild.


-Byron (not a stupid way to die, thats my name)

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Both true. Both stupid.

I was a low level mage, entrusted with the party's crystal ball. We were on a cloud giant castle, in the sky. There was one dangerous stretch of pathway with no railing, and it was easy to get disoriented and fall off. Everyone else very very carefully made their way across. I ran. I missed my save. I fell. I smuggly told the DM that I cast my feather fall spell. He cruelly ruled that I didn't have time, and went splat!
Here's the cool part: just before I hit the ground at terminal velocity, I threw the crystal ball upwards with all my might. The DM decided to give it a 1 in 20 chance of saving vs crushing blow, and it made it!

We were on our way to a gnome town, when we hit a random encounter. Our DM, feeling whimsical, decided to roll randomly, not from a chart, but to determine which /page/ in the monster manual to use. Naturally, he rolled up Orcus.
He told us that there'd been a huge battle, with tons of corpses, and there, hovering over it all (right in the middle of the road) was Orcus. The smart thing to do would have been to run.
Instead, we hid off the side of the road and watched. Since it had been the scene of a massive battle, we figured there /had/ to be a magic item or two in there… So one of us cast detect magic and yup, there it was: a +5 sword! The smart thing to do would have been to run.
Instead, we tried to stealthily recover the sword from under Orcus, failed, and died.

- Stravaig

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“What the hell is a phylac…phylacta….phylactr…
ah hell, just bring it with us…it might bring good luck!”

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“Erm I didnt think we would need fire…We *all* have nightvision after all!…Besides Who would of known there were trolls in the troll moore?!”

Attempting to operate any gnomish invention.

<In a Knights of neraka outpost> “And for my next song, The brave battle of huma dragonslayer!”

<In Mechanus> “Wow that sure is a shiny cog! They wont mind if I just take *one* I am sure”

Selling “Ao drools And I rule!” T-shirts.

Equipping that Flaming vorpal sword + 20 of backbiting.

Insulting Ztins inventions. (C'mon try me)

<To the DM> “Ha what a loser! your campaigns suck my dog has made better campaigns then you!”

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Sticking your head inside a dragon's mouth.

Drinking a bottle of liquid with a label that says poison.

Trying to pet an evil dragon.

Trying poke an armed Orc's eyes with your fingers.

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My entire party walked into a temple of Morgoth (its a Middle Earth Thing).

Failing a climbing roll…

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-Oh! Look at the cute kitty cat! C'mere you itty cutty wutty… *tickles Displacer Beast

-Talking to Sarevok: “Yea? Your Mom!”

-Lets attack that dude over there…Elmin-something…come on! Wizards are always a pushover!

-Bah! The Dragon rep is soooo overblown!

-Cool wand!

-Singing: “Britney Spears” during a dwarven beer-drinking contest.

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Looking into the gnome's tube invention while your buddy plays with the thing at the other end.

You call yourselves the powerpuff girls? What a bunch of sissies. Where is my bat guano?

*while watching a band of trolls in a swamp* I will cast my torch spell. Huh? Why do I care if there are bubbles in the water all around me? *the subsequent explosion killed everyone EXCEPT the trolls*

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Thinking you can fly a Spelljamming helm even though you not a mage.

Putting oil in your mouth to spit it on to a torch to get your enemy and immolating yourself.

Trying to kill a demon with a sword +1 when you needed a sword plus +3 just to hit em.

Sitting at an inn throwing spit balls at a paladin.

Tryng to kill a monster that's attacking your buddie with a magical repeating crossbow, and emptying the magazine into him.

Trying to kill Strad von Zurovich and jumping out a window to get away and forgetting you were 1,000 feet above the valley floor.

Thinking Dispell Magic would make Eliminster unable to cast spells.

Falling asleep inside a Portable Hole and suffocating when the air ran out.

By the way these things really happened to an anventuring group I was DM'ing. Pretty sad huh?

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Once, in the Spiderqueen module, we came upon the group of giants near the first. I cast dancing lights, strode forward and announced that I was a god and they should bow down in my presence.
It…wasn't pretty after that.

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DM: The duel begins, btw, your opponent just proclaimed it was a duel to the death.

Player: What? I didn't want it to be a duel to the death!

DM: Sorry. Ok, the weapons are randomly chosen. Axes.

Player: But I suck with the axe!

DM: Uh, oh… looks like your opponent got the weapon he is a master in.

Player: WHAT?! NO WAY!

DM: Yep. Ok, the duel begins. (rolling) He attacks first… (rolling again) Hmm, looks like he hits you… for … let's see (rolling) Uh, how many hps do you have?

Player: 30

DM: Ah… um, well, you go down, his axe in your chest.“

”Sorry, that character you've been developing and playing for the last 3 years was just killed for no good reason and without heroics. Want to roll up another?“

*That's the stupidiest way for a DM to die*

That scenario did actually happen. I never made *that* mistake again. ;p

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Something one of my players actually did (he was 1st level too… why didn't he just run away?):

”Hmm, I'm out of arrows, and they seem to be just bouncing off that huge red dragon. Well, I guess I'll start picking up rocks to throw at it!“

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A charector in a game I was DM'ing did this once-

A friend of his was a noble. This noble was also a pc. They were both level 2.
The charector I speak of was a thief. He wanted to get into the nobles estate to look for evidence of a murder, but was in a quarrel with the nobel because he had cast a light spell on the thief, and due to some unfortunate cross-effects of resurection magic (yes, they had all died before) the light spell had became permanent. So he glowed, and children cried when they saw him, and his stealth skills were useless. (eventualy he covered himself in robes and black paint , counteracting the effect.)
Anyhow the thief wanted to get in.
And so the thief talked to the guard. Tried to lie his way past.

guard- ”Halt! Who goes there?“
pc- ”Uh… mmmmm… hummmmm… Well… ya…. Im new here, I just purchased an estate“
guard- ”Oh realy…? Which one?“
pc- ”Uh, you know, that one.“
guard-” Oh, you mean the Sanderson Villa.“
pc-”Ya! thats the one!“
guard- ”Nice try, thief. there is no such estate“
pc- ”wait, um, did you say Sanderson? I thought you said something else.“
guard- ”Oh, well then you can go in.“
pc- ”Realy?“
guard- ”Nope.“
pc- ”Why not? I own an estate here!“
guard- *sigh* ”Who did you buy it from?“
pc- ”You know… that guy.“
guard- ”Get out of here.“
pc- ” But wait you cant d-
guard- “sure I can.”

Pc leaves.
sneaks around to the palisade walls. Climbs to the top. gets foot stuck on top. falls. Into a water trough in the stables. his paint washes off.

Hiding his face, he climbs out. Hearing footsteps, he thinks fast and concludes that the guard had heard him. He runs for it, climbing a barbwire fence. the fences catches his clothing, stripping him nude. he falls on the other side, only to look up into the eyes of the guard. he flees. Running, naked and glowing, through the most expensive nieghborhood in the kingdom. he climbs a building, and jumbs to the top of the palisade wall. he impales himself. clinging to life, he sees the guard pull a crossbow and take aim.

At this point the person playing the charector says “ I look around, what do i see?”

I say “ your impaled on top of a wall. below you, on the outside, is a well. the ground is 20 feet on each side, the fall would likely kill you. the roof you jumped from is to high to reach. 2 more guards with crossbows are coming.”

He says- “I have to go to the bathroom”

He comes back. He has a devious smile on his face.“ Ok. i know what i want to do.”
He says “ I leap from the wall into the well. The water will break my fall right?”

I say- “What water?”

He says- “Nevermind, i dont want to do that.”

I say- “ unfortunatly, gravity does not respond to your demands.”

He says- “You didnt tell me it was empty!”

i say- “ sure i did… right guys? Free xp for everyone who agrees!”

others- “ Ya! sure he did! werent you listening!”

he says- “ fine. so i die. i hate you.”

I say. “fine theres water, but only if you insist”

he says- “I do! i insist!”

i say- “are you sure?”

he says- “YES!”

I say “fine, fine. ok you hit the water, and plunge deep under.”

He says- “ i swim up.”

I say- “ No you dont.”

He says- “what do you mean”

I say “ You dont have the swimming nonweapon proficiency.”

He says “ yes i do!”

I say- “Nope.”

He says- “sh*t. can i just float then?”

Sure.

He floats. and floats. and bleeds. and floats.

He says to others “ Guys come get me”

I say- “Sadly, despite your vigorous attempts, telepathy remains beyond your abilities.”

He says “ I climb out”

I say. “That would be a good idea, if there were any handholds, or if you didnt have a gaping hole in you.”

He says “I wait to heal”

I laugh.

Eventualy his charector dies of blood loss, infection, hunger, and drowning, all at once.

After that he played dwarven fighters.

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-grabbing Elminster's hat and use it as a frizbee with a friend

-going into a temple to get healed before realizing you were disguised as a drow

-traveling to the underdark with your lvl 1 character

-calling a tiger familiar a “pwetty wittle kitty”

-attaching a kick me sign onto the back of a high priest of Talos

-stealing a keg of ale from a dwarven tavern

-applying to become a gnomish inventor assistant

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Stood next to a gnome

Got too close to the guy with the curse that affects everyone else but him.

On a mountain, my lv1 wizard threw a magic missle at a NPC. The NPC caught it(!!) and threw it back at me. It hit me, causing me to stumble backwards, falling 3 miles and I died on impact.
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