Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (probably Kentucky – probably someplace very much like this), there lived a man with his second wife. She was the ugliest, meanest, smelliest turdball he could find. Her name was Grababuka (which is Russian for “Barbara”). She had two daughters, both also named Grababuka, who were almost as disgusting as she was.
The husband had his own daughter from his first marriage. She was a mistake — the result of an interlude in the back seat of a Buick Skylark. Her name was Cinderella (which is Russian for “Doormat”).
As soon as the wedding ceremony had concluded, Cinderella’s stepmother began kicking her in the shins. While her own daughters were given the best of everything, Cinderella was only given a used toothbrush and a broken safety pin. She was told to sleep outside by the trashcans. When she asked why, she was told that was customary in Kentucky.
It wasn't long before Cinderella suspected something was wrong with her home environment.
Through me is the way to the sorrowful city.